Today marks an end of 6 year of period. What I learned from the reflection recently is that I do feel bitter but I can also shift mode from personal emotional one to a business thought one pretty quick. It feels like I can instantly build a mental wall to limit my thought on my emotion.
That is something new to me. However, I feel like it might not be healthy to build such a mental dan. There is some tendency to let the water out. I think the 1 month time period I set was correct to just get over with or get used to it. Also there are some questions I think I need to answer.
1, What did I learn from this? In the past, I trade off my future for desire; now I trade off my dearest for my future. Either way is bitter.
2, How do I feel? Blaming him for sure. Hurts. Then trying to make sense with logic, which leads me to 3 points:
- The trust, built from zero and through 6 years, was thrown out of the window like worth nothing. Not even tried to treasure it.
- I have been mistreated with only selfish all over the years, something I was blind about or at that time did not care, but now don’t want anymore. As such, I need to change that.
- I have better options from the data collected in the past 3 weeks.
If the “close friends” is what he intended to go for, which I think is selfish with certain degree of possibility, I need to address the first 2, as past is the past, the decision should only be made for a better future.